Being sick creates such a challenge to keep motivated. I believe that I have a sinus infection...ugh, it's no fun.
Challenge number 1: Babysitting. I have 3 little ones and all I want to do is rest. With the little ones that is an impossiblilty until they are all back with their parents. Love them but I will definitely be ready for them to go home today.
Challenge number 2: Exercise. I usually go to the gym on Monday mornings but not today. Sleep seemed more important. Tomorrow I will have to go, sick or not. I just can't afford to get out of the routine. Lori teaches on Tuesday, it's already hard enough when she teaches let alone being sick on top of it.
Challenge number 3: Time to go to the Dr. without disturbing the parents work schedules. I don't think that one is going to be a possibility. Somethings are just unavoidable and meds are going to be necessary.
Just praying I feel better soon :)
Monday, February 8, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Something New Within Me
There are a lot of changes happening on the outside but there are also huge changes happening within. I went to a candle party the other night and saw someone I hadn't seen in awhile. She said she didn't recognize me. What? I have lost weight but really? I haven't lost that much yet, I don't think anyway. She asked me questions like what made you decide to do this and how are you doing it. I gave a response to how and so far as what, I didn't. I just let her impose words in that part of the response. It's been a process of different steps to have come to this point. Different things have "inspired" me and honestly I am not ready to share those as of yet, maybe someday.
I have heard from numerous people lately how proud they are of me, which is nice, really nice. It's encouraging and who doesn't need encouragement from time to time. BUT here is the something new within me, it isn't necessary. Before it would have been far to important for people to notice and say wonderful things. This time, not so much. It really is irrelevant if people say something. It's different this time, I'm different. I know that this is God inspired and God led. His approval is the only one needed, as should be in all things. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the compliments but this time, I can do it without them. They don't define my success, I do.
I have heard from numerous people lately how proud they are of me, which is nice, really nice. It's encouraging and who doesn't need encouragement from time to time. BUT here is the something new within me, it isn't necessary. Before it would have been far to important for people to notice and say wonderful things. This time, not so much. It really is irrelevant if people say something. It's different this time, I'm different. I know that this is God inspired and God led. His approval is the only one needed, as should be in all things. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the compliments but this time, I can do it without them. They don't define my success, I do.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Overwhelmed
Last week I was 2.2 pounds away from meeting my first goal which I originally hoped to achieve by the end of February. Optimistically I was wondering if I could reach it by my birthday, which is the 5th. Could I really do it? I decided that either way I would be good but it would be FANTASTIC if I did. Yesterday I weighed myself and found that I had lost .6 pounds. Not the 2.2 I was hoping for, but non the less a loss. Today when I woke up something told me to weigh myself (I don't usually do that more than once a week). To my surprise I lost an addition 2.4 pounds! I had SURPASSED my first goal! I ran upstairs and asked Bob, "do I look 2 pounds lighter, because I am"!
After I dropped Bob off at work, I turned on the radio. The song, dance like there is no tomorrow came on, the words "I want to be the man I was meant to be" were sung and an overwhelming flood of what I think was about every emotion came over me. I just started sobbing but without sadness. I finally feel like I am becoming (physically) the person who God wants me to be. I am so thankful that God loves me enough to have brought me to this point and that He will continue to take me forward. I don't say this next statement for any other reason except to say how I felt. I don't say it for sympathy...it needs no response. I was so overwhelmed with emotion because I reached a point in my life that I truly thought I would just always be that fat. I have tried unsuccessfully to lose weight in the past and had resigned myself to a lifetime of not liking what I saw. Fortunately, God is so much bigger than my thoughts. I do not have to live as I had assumed I would. I will not live as I assumed I would.
I detest it when people limit God, so why did I? Why do I? Fear, that's why. I am tired of my fear of failure standing in the way of my success...no longer. If I fail at something now, at least I will know I have tried. I am not done yet, my next goal is to lose 30 pounds, then 20, then...who knows. God will clue me in when I get there!
After I dropped Bob off at work, I turned on the radio. The song, dance like there is no tomorrow came on, the words "I want to be the man I was meant to be" were sung and an overwhelming flood of what I think was about every emotion came over me. I just started sobbing but without sadness. I finally feel like I am becoming (physically) the person who God wants me to be. I am so thankful that God loves me enough to have brought me to this point and that He will continue to take me forward. I don't say this next statement for any other reason except to say how I felt. I don't say it for sympathy...it needs no response. I was so overwhelmed with emotion because I reached a point in my life that I truly thought I would just always be that fat. I have tried unsuccessfully to lose weight in the past and had resigned myself to a lifetime of not liking what I saw. Fortunately, God is so much bigger than my thoughts. I do not have to live as I had assumed I would. I will not live as I assumed I would.
I detest it when people limit God, so why did I? Why do I? Fear, that's why. I am tired of my fear of failure standing in the way of my success...no longer. If I fail at something now, at least I will know I have tried. I am not done yet, my next goal is to lose 30 pounds, then 20, then...who knows. God will clue me in when I get there!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
To Fuss or Not To Fuss...
It's been a long time since I have really dealt with a toddler. I have temporarily taken on an 18 month old 2x's a week. It's nap time, I put him down, he cries. I soothe him, put him back, he cries. I leave him and after 3 minutes he quits. Then 5 minutes later he cries. I check on him, he's poopy, I change him, soothe him and lay him back down...he cries about 3 more minutes. He is quiet now, I pray it lasts and he wakes up happy...I don't want him to hate me or nap time.
On a different note, I find the older I get the less tolerant I become of people being inconsiderate. I know we all have our moments but if you are going to put yourself out to accommodate something or someone the same effort should be returned, right? Right!
On a different note, I find the older I get the less tolerant I become of people being inconsiderate. I know we all have our moments but if you are going to put yourself out to accommodate something or someone the same effort should be returned, right? Right!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
4 More Days!
I have 4 days to go in my 30 days of whole foods. In the last 26 days I have made 5 pounds of chocolates and 11 cake mixes, 3 different kinds of whipped frosting, and used 4 cans of regular frosting (all for the baby shower) and haven't even licked my fingers once! I have to admit that was a little tricky but not impossible. I am super surprised that I was able to do this and even more so that I am going to keep it incorporated into my daily diet. I am just going to integrate a few things back in and also allow for a few treats every now and then.
I went shopping for new jeans today because the ones I bought a Thanksgiving are getting loose and the ones that used to be to small are now just to big and need to go. The exciting part is that the new ones are one size smaller than the ones I got at Thanksgiving! Yay!!! To date I have lost 45 pounds and I am 2.2 pounds away from my first goal. I have to say...this feels good.
Friday, the 5th I turn 40 and who knows, may our little Dominic will be here by then. I hope so! How would you ever top that as a birthday gift? I don't think it can be done...come on little Dom, you can do it.
I went shopping for new jeans today because the ones I bought a Thanksgiving are getting loose and the ones that used to be to small are now just to big and need to go. The exciting part is that the new ones are one size smaller than the ones I got at Thanksgiving! Yay!!! To date I have lost 45 pounds and I am 2.2 pounds away from my first goal. I have to say...this feels good.
Friday, the 5th I turn 40 and who knows, may our little Dominic will be here by then. I hope so! How would you ever top that as a birthday gift? I don't think it can be done...come on little Dom, you can do it.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thankful
On my way home after each workout I have so many great and clear thoughts. Then the day starts to set in and they disappear as quickly as they came. I find it to be a bit sad that I have lost them. However, one thing I do remember from them is how thankful I am that God is with me, in all things. When I think I can't, I know He can, so I persevere. He has changed so much within me in the past 6 months that it would be difficult to explain. Who knows, maybe someday I'll try. Some of the changes I don't even understand and can't begin to explain. Whatever God is doing, I am so, so, so thankful that He loves me enough to have brought me this far. I am excited to see what else He has in store. Thank you Jesus!
Monday, January 25, 2010
I Can Breathe
I can breathe, temporarily anyway. The baby shower is over and it went really well. Evan and Amanda received so many wonderful gifts. In addition to all of them they also received about 25 packages of diapers! They will be stocked for awhile. What a blessing for them. Amanda is ready for Dominic to be here, she's quite miserable. I am ready too, simply because I am excited! It could be any day now. She isn't due until February 19 but I don't think she will make it that long.
Hilary and David are doing well. They spend time together reading God's word and just hanging out. Hilary started back with 5 Star yesterday and has made some great progress in forgiveness of past mistakes that some friends had made. I have to say David has been a good influence on her. They have some serious ideas about what their future together is going to look like for them this year...not so sure I am ready for all of this.
Zach is doing well in school. He really likes his class at EACC this year. I am so grateful. It's hard to believe that he graduates this year. Where has the time gone, really, where did it go?
Whole foods are going well, I am on day 22. I still am amazed that it is quite easier than I expected it would be. I will integrate some foods back in but for the most part I think I may stick with it for awhile. We will see.
Just as soon as my workouts start to become a little easier, they make them harder! Oh well, it's working. I have lost 43 pounds so far. I am 5 pounds away from my first goal. Whew, it's been a lot of work but completely worth it.
Hilary and David are doing well. They spend time together reading God's word and just hanging out. Hilary started back with 5 Star yesterday and has made some great progress in forgiveness of past mistakes that some friends had made. I have to say David has been a good influence on her. They have some serious ideas about what their future together is going to look like for them this year...not so sure I am ready for all of this.
Zach is doing well in school. He really likes his class at EACC this year. I am so grateful. It's hard to believe that he graduates this year. Where has the time gone, really, where did it go?
Whole foods are going well, I am on day 22. I still am amazed that it is quite easier than I expected it would be. I will integrate some foods back in but for the most part I think I may stick with it for awhile. We will see.
Just as soon as my workouts start to become a little easier, they make them harder! Oh well, it's working. I have lost 43 pounds so far. I am 5 pounds away from my first goal. Whew, it's been a lot of work but completely worth it.
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