Challenges

Being sick creates such a challenge to keep motivated. I believe that I have a sinus infection...ugh, it's no fun.

Challenge number 1: Babysitting. I have 3 little ones and all I want to do is rest. With the little ones that is an impossiblilty until they are all back with their parents. Love them but I will definitely be ready for them to go home today.

Challenge number 2: Exercise. I usually go to the gym on Monday mornings but not today. Sleep seemed more important. Tomorrow I will have to go, sick or not. I just can't afford to get out of the routine. Lori teaches on Tuesday, it's already hard enough when she teaches let alone being sick on top of it.

Challenge number 3: Time to go to the Dr. without disturbing the parents work schedules. I don't think that one is going to be a possibility. Somethings are just unavoidable and meds are going to be necessary.

Just praying I feel better soon :)

Something New Within Me

There are a lot of changes happening on the outside but there are also huge changes happening within. I went to a candle party the other night and saw someone I hadn't seen in awhile. She said she didn't recognize me. What? I have lost weight but really? I haven't lost that much yet, I don't think anyway. She asked me questions like what made you decide to do this and how are you doing it. I gave a response to how and so far as what, I didn't. I just let her impose words in that part of the response. It's been a process of different steps to have come to this point. Different things have "inspired" me and honestly I am not ready to share those as of yet, maybe someday.

I have heard from numerous people lately how proud they are of me, which is nice, really nice. It's encouraging and who doesn't need encouragement from time to time. BUT here is the something new within me, it isn't necessary. Before it would have been far to important for people to notice and say wonderful things. This time, not so much. It really is irrelevant if people say something. It's different this time, I'm different. I know that this is God inspired and God led. His approval is the only one needed, as should be in all things. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the compliments but this time, I can do it without them. They don't define my success, I do.

Overwhelmed

Last week I was 2.2 pounds away from meeting my first goal which I originally hoped to achieve by the end of February. Optimistically I was wondering if I could reach it by my birthday, which is the 5th. Could I really do it? I decided that either way I would be good but it would be FANTASTIC if I did. Yesterday I weighed myself and found that I had lost .6 pounds. Not the 2.2 I was hoping for, but non the less a loss. Today when I woke up something told me to weigh myself (I don't usually do that more than once a week). To my surprise I lost an addition 2.4 pounds! I had SURPASSED my first goal! I ran upstairs and asked Bob, "do I look 2 pounds lighter, because I am"!

After I dropped Bob off at work, I turned on the radio. The song, dance like there is no tomorrow came on, the words "I want to be the man I was meant to be" were sung and an overwhelming flood of what I think was about every emotion came over me. I just started sobbing but without sadness. I finally feel like I am becoming (physically) the person who God wants me to be. I am so thankful that God loves me enough to have brought me to this point and that He will continue to take me forward. I don't say this next statement for any other reason except to say how I felt. I don't say it for sympathy...it needs no response. I was so overwhelmed with emotion because I reached a point in my life that I truly thought I would just always be that fat. I have tried unsuccessfully to lose weight in the past and had resigned myself to a lifetime of not liking what I saw. Fortunately, God is so much bigger than my thoughts. I do not have to live as I had assumed I would. I will not live as I assumed I would.

I detest it when people limit God, so why did I? Why do I? Fear, that's why. I am tired of my fear of failure standing in the way of my success...no longer. If I fail at something now, at least I will know I have tried. I am not done yet, my next goal is to lose 30 pounds, then 20, then...who knows. God will clue me in when I get there!

To Fuss or Not To Fuss...

It's been a long time since I have really dealt with a toddler. I have temporarily taken on an 18 month old 2x's a week. It's nap time, I put him down, he cries. I soothe him, put him back, he cries. I leave him and after 3 minutes he quits. Then 5 minutes later he cries. I check on him, he's poopy, I change him, soothe him and lay him back down...he cries about 3 more minutes. He is quiet now, I pray it lasts and he wakes up happy...I don't want him to hate me or nap time.

On a different note, I find the older I get the less tolerant I become of people being inconsiderate. I know we all have our moments but if you are going to put yourself out to accommodate something or someone the same effort should be returned, right? Right!