Last week I was 2.2 pounds away from meeting my first goal which I originally hoped to achieve by the end of February. Optimistically I was wondering if I could reach it by my birthday, which is the 5th. Could I really do it? I decided that either way I would be good but it would be FANTASTIC if I did. Yesterday I weighed myself and found that I had lost .6 pounds. Not the 2.2 I was hoping for, but non the less a loss. Today when I woke up something told me to weigh myself (I don't usually do that more than once a week). To my surprise I lost an addition 2.4 pounds! I had SURPASSED my first goal! I ran upstairs and asked Bob, "do I look 2 pounds lighter, because I am"!
After I dropped Bob off at work, I turned on the radio. The song, dance like there is no tomorrow came on, the words "I want to be the man I was meant to be" were sung and an overwhelming flood of what I think was about every emotion came over me. I just started sobbing but without sadness. I finally feel like I am becoming (physically) the person who God wants me to be. I am so thankful that God loves me enough to have brought me to this point and that He will continue to take me forward. I don't say this next statement for any other reason except to say how I felt. I don't say it for sympathy...it needs no response. I was so overwhelmed with emotion because I reached a point in my life that I truly thought I would just always be that fat. I have tried unsuccessfully to lose weight in the past and had resigned myself to a lifetime of not liking what I saw. Fortunately, God is so much bigger than my thoughts. I do not have to live as I had assumed I would. I will not live as I assumed I would.
I detest it when people limit God, so why did I? Why do I? Fear, that's why. I am tired of my fear of failure standing in the way of my success...no longer. If I fail at something now, at least I will know I have tried. I am not done yet, my next goal is to lose 30 pounds, then 20, then...who knows. God will clue me in when I get there!
1 comment:
I have faith you'll be able to. :) It's awesome to see that you're allowing yourself to be molded into the person God intended you to be. Not saying there was anything wrong before! But you're right, when we limit God, we're telling Him, "You might be great and all...but I don't think you can do this." It's funny, too, because we have faith that God has existed outside of time and space (I mean, He's been here for all eternity and created the universe...He can't be bound by those laws), but then we don't have faith we'll be taken care of through a financial crisis. I agree that it's fear that's a huge factor, but I think it's pride sometimes, too, thinking our problems are "too" big for Him when we should be lucky we even have these issues to begin with! The fact that there IS hope and deliverance in this world is such a blessing. There's a pastor named John Piper who was talking about how with the cross, we focus it on us, thinking how much it makes of us, but in all reality, it needs to be the fact that we receive an eternity to make so much more of God. If that makes sense. /rant
I hope you had a great birthday and hope your workout goes well in the morning! Thanks for letting me hangout. I love helping with the kids, even if it's not all that much.
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