Sick :(

Inevitably every time I try to do good I get sick. I usually let it throw me off track, not this time. I have lost 10.5 pounds and plan on continuing to keep losing. This bug came on quick, I just hope it's not the swine flu...we will see how I feel tomorrow. As soon as the fever breaks and stays gone, back to the gym.

Cool Website

So this isn't quite accurate...I had already lost 7.5 pounds before I found this website. It's pretty cool. First of all it's free, secondly it seems to be very helpful. Helps you to see how many calories, carbs, proteins, and fat grams you should be eating a day, with and without exercise to reach your goal. We shall see how it goes.

Created by MyFitnessPal - Nutrition Facts For Foods

The Latest at My House

First of all, the concert went great. There were about 20 people, very low key. The band was much better than I expected. I know it was different than what they usually sound like, because it was only acoustic, but I actually enjoyed it. There were only 3 of them here just young men, about 20-22 years old, very personable. They are coming back to the area in August and this time with the whole band. I think we will be housing about 6 of them this time. Should be fun.

Most recently I just went to Virginia. Every month since my Grandmother passed away my dad's brothers and his one sister get together. It's their way of making sure they stay connected. In July they meet up at his brother's home, in Virginia. For years my mom has been saying that it is a blast there and I need to go. Reluctantly, I rearranged my schedule and went. It isn't that I didn't want to go, it was just that it takes some doing to get away for about a week. It turns out I am so glad I went. I had forgotten how crazy my dad's family is, I mean this in a good way. The brothers are still the same, just as ornery as they every were, just quite a bit older of course than I remember. I teased them it was like sitting around a retirement home. I look forward to next year.

Concert at My House!

Bob thinks I am crazy but sometimes you just have to say yes. Vito asked if this particular band, who is doing a two week tour of acoustic back yard concerts, could come to our house and play and I said, "yes". I don't know much about this band except for everytime they make it into town Vito makes sure that he goes to see them. They are one of the more mellow bands that he listens to (that's why I agreed). The one thing I know for sure is that Vito LOVES music and this was such a great chance to encourage such a fantastic young man (Vito). I know my mom would have probably never said "yes" to this one when I was growing up but I am glad that I did...at least for now...we will see if that answer remains the same after towmorrow (the pending concert).

21 Years

We just celebrated our 21st Wedding Anniversary! It's hard to believe that 21 years have gone by since we said, "I do". Alot has happened in these past 21 years. We have been through good, bad, great, sad, hard, easy, happy, lonely, trying, testing, growing and some of the most wonderful times of our lives. Through it all I am so blessed to have had Bob by my side. In 21 years we have been given a life together in Christ, 3 great kids (young adults now), 1 instant grand daughter (who is AWESOME!), 1 grand baby on the way, a million memories and the hope of a million more.

Crossing the Lines

I feel like I have crossed every imaginable and socially acceptable line this week. I have had to be more honest with some people that I love than I have ever had to be. With some friends, two of my children, my parents, and my brother. It's not that I am dishonest with them but sometimes there are things that you wonder if you should say, do you really go there? I was left with no choice...I went there. God gave me strength throughout the week but last night I was completely emotionally exhausted. I am glad the "big" parts are over but that in no way means we are done. The road to healing has only just begun. In some cases it's more "counseling" not that I am a professional at this but I listen and somehow that helps. In others, it's advising on taking the next right and "grown up" steps. Also, rebuilding trust with another. The last is going to be an ongoing process of tough love and healing, I can't do it for him but I will do my best to help. The road ahead is bumpy but as one of my favorite verses says, Not by might, not by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of Hosts, Zechariah 4:6. This is how I want to and try to live my life. I unfortunately don't always succeed...guess I will just keep trying.

Busy Week Ahead...But A Good Week

To sum it all up, the big projects are done! YAY! Now it's time to do the little things, just the usual stuff, do a bit of cooking for Hilary's party, visit with the family that's in town (including my most awesome niece), get my hair done, and hopefully relax! Should be a great week!

Ugh!

That's it...just UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never Ending

Funny how having a party will motivate you to get all those projects you want to get done, done. This week consisted of painting, ripping down molding, staining molding, ripping up the patio and replacing it, ripping out this "parking spot" by the drive way...who knows what's next.

Life Updates

Where to begin? So much has happened within our family lately it is almost hard to believe, at least for me. After being gone for most of April, Texas, Toledo, Cleveland, and Toledo again April was over before I knew it. When I got home it seems as if everything changed. Evan moved out, Hilary has now finished school and she is already working in a salon. Vito has his drivers license and a beard. Before long it will just be Bob and I. I know we have a few years left with the Hilary and Zach being at home but before I know it they will be on their own too. This is what we have worked towards with our children. To raise them to be self sufficient, to love what they do and who they are. It appears as if it is working. I have to admit that it is a bitter sweet emotion, to know that they are able to stand on their own. It's great to see but yet still hard to watch. I still wish we had the ability to make some of their choices for them, like when they were little, but we can't. We pray, we watch and we wait. People always said, enjoy them when they are young,it's gone before you know it...they didn't lie...I wish I had understood the full impact of that statement then, like I do now.

It's been awhile

It has been quite awhile since I posted last...alot has happened but stillhaven't had time to blog it...got alot I have been processing, soon I will actually have a quiet moment to put the thoughts in writing.

His Perfect Timing

The last couple weeks have been a bit stressful. Lots going on in the family, when isn't there. I was beginning to let it all get me down and yesterday when more was happening and I wasn't handling it the best, I heard the still small voice...all it said was James 1. I knew God was telling me to read the first chapter of James...I didn't get it read. In the midst of more drama today I heard the still small voice yet again, James 1. I came home from work, picked up, showered and then opened my Bible to James, chapter one and read the most perfect words from our most perfect God who has the most perfect timing:

1I, James, am a slave of God and the Master Jesus, writing to the twelve tribes scattered to Kingdom Come: Hello! Faith Under Pressure
2-4Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

5-8If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.

9-11When down-and-outers get a break, cheer! And when the arrogant rich are brought down to size, cheer! Prosperity is as short-lived as a wildflower, so don't ever count on it. You know that as soon as the sun rises, pouring down its scorching heat, the flower withers. Its petals wilt and, before you know it, that beautiful face is a barren stem. Well, that's a picture of the "prosperous life." At the very moment everyone is looking on in admiration, it fades away to nothing.

12Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life.

13-15Don't let anyone under pressure to give in to evil say, "God is trying to trip me up." God is impervious to evil, and puts evil in no one's way. The temptation to give in to evil comes from us and only us. We have no one to blame but the leering, seducing flare-up of our own lust. Lust gets pregnant, and has a baby: sin! Sin grows up to adulthood, and becomes a real killer.

16-18So, my very dear friends, don't get thrown off course. Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of Light. There is nothing deceitful in God, nothing two-faced, nothing fickle. He brought us to life using the true Word, showing us off as the crown of all his creatures.

Act on What You Hear
19-21Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God's righteousness doesn't grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life.
22-24Don't fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don't act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like.

25But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God—the free life!—even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action.

26-27Anyone who sets himself up as "religious" by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air. Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world.

What's That Smell?

As I was cleaning one of my clients homes today I noticed the numerous air fresheners throughout the house and I had a thought, then it turned into a revelation for me. I've seen these air fresheners in her home before, plug-ins, pop-ups, auto-sprayers, cans of freshener, scented candles and carpet deodorizers but didn't give it much thought. After all she has 2 dogs, a cat, she works 80 hours a week and doesn't have time to do deep cleaning and if she does have time that's the last thing she wants to do. That's where I come in, I get to do that for her. Let's face it, if you don't stay right on top of keeping a cat box clean, it stinks. Dogs can also add their own brand of smells. To help with this issue, in between cleanings, she uses approximately 6 different kinds of air fresheners. They are all nice scents but you can still smell the underlying odors that she is trying to cover up. I have to be honest here and I am sorry to say that my first thought was, why not just clean it? Why just try to cover it up? Now I know why, she's BUSY, that's why. Once I got past the obvious, it hit me. It's kind of like our lives. We all have "odors" in our lives. Things we are working on or should be working on but for one reason or another we aren't. Reasons like, I don't have time, it's just to hard, or we are just being lazy. So we "try" to cover them up. It may seem like we succeed but eventually the "odor" resurfaces and we have no choice but to face the stench once again. All this to say, am I covering up my problems, issues, deficiencies (whatever you want to call them) or am I cleaning them up. I think I have some work to do.

Queen of Hives

They have stuck once again! Just before midnight I was woke by the familiar and very discomforting itching on my arms. It quickly spread to my legs. The hives were back! I haven't had hives that bad in a long time. I am not sure exactly what causes these things but I think these were brought on by the new hair products I am using, at least I hope that's it. That's easy enough to fix. If it isn't I hope I am not in for another year stretch of nightly hives.

I Knew Better

I typically do not watch rated R movies, PG-13 is usually my max rating. I went to see the Watchmen today. My guys wanted to see it and I thought it's probably R for the violence, thinking of the usual standard of comic book movies. Oh my goodness should I have checked this out more, totally "my bad" and I hate that phrase. It was long, boring, when something did happen it was horribly GROSS or sexual. I closed my eyes and covered my ears for numerous scenes. Whoever wrote, produced and directed this is obviously obsessed with violence and sex. They did use God's name a lot just not in a positive way, if you know what I mean. For a movie that used His name so much you think maybe, just maybe, you could have seen Him in it somewhere...but nope. In the very confusing beginning of the movie they have several famous scenes that they twist and if you aren't paying attention you miss it. The famous picture of the sailor kissing the girl...they have the girl, the sailor approaching, another girl steps in and she kisses the girl. Pretty much right after that they show a scene of these "watchmen" sitting at a table pictured like the picture of "The Last Supper". The one standing in the middle, like Jesus, was a pregnant woman. This was all in the first 5-7 minutes, I had the notion then that this was not going to be very good, I didn't listen to my gut, oh how I know better. I made it almost 2 hours into it and just couldn't take it anymore, I had to leave. I could care less how it ended and found that it took a good 2 hours to shake off such a horrible movie. I just know that I will never get those two hours of my life back and those images are now implanted in my head. Oh how I know better.

Tough Times Hitting Home

In the last 5 days I have heard of 3 people in close proximity to me who have been laid off or are out of work completely. My Evan was laid off on Friday. He is a helper in the Union for Plumbing and Pipe Fitting. They have apprentices who are "sitting on the bench" who they have to work before he can. A good friend of ours has also been laid off. They may choose to keep her on but at a 20% pay cut, good news for a single mom, huh. The third is another friend of ours whose sister is most likely losing her job and will be moving in with him. These in addition to the news this morning that Monaco Coach has laid off another 2,000 workers. I do wonder how much worse it is going to get before things get better. I read a news story this past week that there are 9,000 foreclosures being filed a day. That number still floors me. That's not just foreclosures to me that is 9,000 families a day who are going to have no place to live. It's all just heartbreaking.

Falling Apart

I know it's not old but since I turned 39 I feel like I am falling apart. I reached across the back seat of the car and something in my shoulder "popped". The next day I could hardly lift my arm. Three weeks later, it still hurts, not as bad but still hurts. Then the next weekend I had a sudden onset of abdominal pain. After 17 hours of consistent pain I went to the ER. After numerous tests, we still don't know what it was. I left with the same pain I went in with and still no reason of why or what. I missed an entire week of work due to the lessening but ongoing pain. Good news is the pain seems to be gone but now I have a lovely head cold. I know in comparison to many these things are nothing but it is time for this instant deterioration to go away. I am not old...yet.

25 Random Things About Me

I did this for Facebook and just thought it was kind of fun and thought I would post it here. I loved reading everyone, you learn little things you may have never known.


1. I am convinced that this is going to be a great year.
2. I am self employed.
3. I love to clean (that's what I do for a living).
4. I hate clutter.
5. I have no emotional attachment to stuff, with the exception of Zach's collection of Pooh Bears from when he was little.
6. I love to rearrange furniture, my family runs at the thought of this.
7. I love to clean carpet...I know...it's weird but I do.
8. I have been married for over half of my life.
9. I met my husband on a blind date.
10. We dated long distance for 2 years before we got married. He lived in South Bend, I lived in Toledo, OH.
11. I am going to be a grandma on June 11, 2011 (when Evan gets married).
12. I didn't really know Jesus until I was 30.
13. I love mission trips...it's been way to long since I have been on one.
14. I love to shop.
15. I am the queen of clearance.
16. I think the world would be a happier place if we lived in our jammies :)
17. I love my dogs, probably too much.
18. I am still looking for where God wants me to serve...I am at 5 Star right now...5 Star is great but I don't think it is where I am supposed to be for the long term.
19. I love my small group! My friends are amazing!
20. I used to be ridiculously shy...I can still be that way in certain settings.
21. I have moved 13 times in my life.
22. I love coffee when it doesn't taste like coffee.
23. I think TVO/DVR whatever you want to call it is awesome!
24. I detest snow and cold. I want to move south.
25. I LOVE Jesus, my family and my friends more than they realize!

Tomorrow

It's hard to believe that Hilary will be 18 years old tomorrow. I know people always say they will be gone before you know it. I am beginning to see how true that really is. It's like I blinked and they grew up. They are all amazing in their own ways and as I look forward to what each will do, I also look back and wonder where the time went.

Hilary's New Car

Not being able to justify any more money going into Hilary's Cavalier we set out today to find her a "new" car. Of course on a limited budget it is hard to find one that is going to be reliable. We started at 10 this morning and decided we needed about $1000 more dollars before we could get something that would work well for her. We came home, settled in and got a phone call from one of the salesmen we spoke with earlier. He said they just got this trade in and it fit into our budget. Better yet, he said it was well taken care of, in great shape and would be great fit for Hilary. New brakes, new manifold (muffler), and new tires. The previous owner had great records of all maintenance. We battled around if we should go or not, we went. We got there and found the car to be in fantastic shape for being 11 years old. It's a 1997 Buick LeSabre. It is super clean in and out. It seems to run well, it's quiet and it has heat! I pray that this car turns out to be as good as it seems. With used cars you never know but I do have a really good feeling about it.

We Finally Met :)

This is my future grand daughter, Therisa. She is turning 3 on March 3rd. We finally had the privilege of meeting her this past Wednesday. She was a little shy for the first 5 minutes. Thank goodness for play dough, crayons and color books. That's all it took to get her to open up. We had so much fun playing and getting to know each other. I can't wait to do it again.

We also made chocolate chip cookies together. She loved measuring and mixing. She caught on very quickly on how to work my Kitchen Aid. Our cookies tasted good but they didn't look very good. I am not sure what went wrong with them but I will say this, it was the most fun I have had making cookies in a long time.

So Proud

Hilary competed in a Skills USA competition yesterday. It was on the local level and there were 18 Cosmetology students who competed. They all had to go in and see a picture of the hair style they were to create. They had to cut an style the mannequin head just as the picture showed. They had 1 1/2 hours to do this, they only took about 1 hour. Then they each had to do one up-do, of their creation. They had 1 hour to complete it. They all did a great job. Eight of the girls were chosen to move on to the regional competition. Hilary was one of those chosen. She not only made it to regional competition but she place 1st in the local portion. She is truly loving what she has chosen to do. Not only that, she is really doing a great job! I am so proud of her!

Bombshell: Part 2

Now that is official I can share what the bombshell is! Evan proposed to his girlfriend, Amanda, yesterday! This is the young man who said, "I am not getting married until I am at least 23". This is also the young man who said, "I am never having kids". I have always told him, you will change your mind. Well, he did. Amanda has a soon to be 3 year old daughter, Tarissa. So not only will he be taking a wife, he will be taking a daughter. They aren't really planning on getting married for at least a year so they do have some time to continue to let their relationship develop.

I guess that this will also make Bob and I grandparents! What?!!! I will be a VERY young and hopefully most awesome grandma! Okay, that just sounds weird!

Bombshell

Today it feels like I had a bombshell dropped on me. It is one of those moments in life that you know is coming but you think, not yet. It's funny, right before it happened the Holy Spirit prepared me for it. I knew it exactly what the next text would be and that's exactly what it was. For a moment I truly thought I might be sick but it passed quickly. Then there was a moment of excitement, fear and anything else you can think of. I can't share the bombshell just yet but soon (as far as I know anyway).

Snowball: Zach and Monica

Aren't they cute!

Baby it's Cold Outside

The pictures say it all...she was so cold she let me put her sweater on her with no fight...she really doesn't like it but it matches her eyes so well!

Before and After

Before going into the kids rooms :)



After going into the kids rooms :(

It's a Hard Dilemma

I am always telling my children that with each choice we make there are consequences, whether they are good or bad. I know we all make poor choices at times, some people choose to make horrific ones. Bob works for a counseling center. He does the billing there. They handle all kinds of issues but their counselors specialize in dealing with sexual abuse cases. They are different because they not only treat the abused but they also treat those who abuse. Most centers will only handle one or the other. It's not a poor you treatment for the abuser, the counselors hold up the mirror and help to make them accept responsibility for their actions and also try to help them not to abuse again. This is a life long battle to fight the "sickness" within themselves, I really don't know how else to say it. There are some counselors who believe so deeply in on going treatment that they meet with a group each week to help keep them on at a safe level, for themselves and those around them. Did I mention that they do the majority of this group for free? They do, that is how important it is to keep the support going.

Yesterday was a hard day for my honey. For two years now they have been receiving a grant to help with the sexual perpetrators treatment. One of the things the grant has been able to do is to help subsidize their rent. It wasn't just to help provide housing but to be able to know where they are. Bob was informed yesterday, by those that provide the money, that this can no longer happen. He tried to argue the point but was in the end asked, "do you want the money or not?" Of course they want the money, this grant does so much more than help to provide housing. It helps to provide treatment which in turn helps to reduce the risk of re-offending. He even tried to get them to agree to helping subsidize rent for one more month, no luck.

He had to inform two of the recipients of this change yesterday. It did not go well. Normally Bob has many walls put up to help deal with clients. He typically doesn't let things get to him, especially when it comes to those who made such horrific choices. Normal response for him is, "you made these choices now these are your consequences". The walls were broken down yesterday. He had to let them know they could not help with the rent subsidy any more. This ultimately will mean that they will be homeless. That in itself is not good for anyone but for a sexual offender it is worse. They can't go to the Center for the Homeless because there are women and children there. They used to be able to go to Hope Rescue, not anymore. Hope Rescue has expanded to allow women and children there as well. They really have no where to go...no where.

I know these people have made the choices that have led them up to this point. My human response, let them deal, let them suffer the consequences. Others are suffering because of their actions. My Jesus response, the one I am more inclined to lean towards, pray. Pray that there will be some solution that will help all those affected. Ultimately, pray, pray that they find Jesus so they can know the hope He offers, even when it seems that there is none.

Who Knew

Bob took Hilary's car to have the adjuster look at it from the accident she was in before Christmas, it was not her fault this time and no one was hurt. We were hoping that it would be totaled and with the value of her car we were pretty sure it would be. She has no heat and it is loud, not muffler loud but loud, we don't know what's wrong with it. All I can say is, it runs. Well, it is better than totaled. There was a little over 1400.00 worth of damage and they are just sending us a check and we can either get it fixed or not get it fixed. We are not getting it fixed. We also get to keep the car with a clear title because it is not totaled therefore we can sell it. We are not fixing the damage because it's all cosmetic, and we are selling Hilary's car (not for a lot but enough). Between the two she will recoup all the expenses this car has cost. She is ecstatic!

When the accident first happened she was actually grateful that she had been hit as opposed to someone else. Sounds weird I know but she said if the van had hit someone else they would have been further on the bridge, which was a sheet of ice, and at 40 mph someone could have ended up in the river. I am still not used to my children driving (4 years later), I pray more when they are on the road and am so thankful that God keeps His loving arms around them.

Who knew what a blessing this would have turned out to be!

Just a Thought

I am convinced that my friends help to make me a better person. I love them!

Random

I love being able to read my friends and family's blogs and facebooks so I can keep up on what's happening in their lives even though I may not get to see them as often as I would like!

A New Year

I am believing that 2009 is going to be a great year! 2008 held a lot of sadness, sickness and hardship in our family. Not this year...I believe in speaking it into being. Our year has started off with a few ups and downs but all in all so far so good. God blessed us in a big way this week. We have been in limbo with our property taxes, as was everyone else in Indiana, but this week all is well. Last year our exemptions kicked in from when we purchased our house 2 years ago but due to the indecisiveness of our legislature to decide our tax rate our exemptions were put on hold and our taxes were doubled. Our house payment was increase dramatically to make up the "shortage" that was supposed to be there. We knew there would not be a shortage since our exemptions were to take effect, our mortgage company knew this as well but their hands were tied by the lack of action by the state. So for 5 months we have been paying way to much money for our home. Bob called our mortgage company right after Christmas in hopes of straightening things around. He found out that our property taxes went down $2400.00 a year! That is HUGE! This week we received a nice check from our mortgage company refunding us most of the extra money we had paid. After accessing our account online I found that our mortgage payment went down 280.00a month! It is now less that when we first closed on our house. Only God can do that! I truly expected this would take several more months to straighten out. I am so grateful I was wrong.