Bittersweet

There are two big things happening this weekend that are soooo bittersweet. The first one planned is my niece graduating from college. I tear up just thinking about it. I was there in the room when she was born, it just doesn't seem like it was all that long ago. She is a beautiful young woman, inside and out, and has worked super hard to accomplish all she set out to do four years ago. I can't wait to celebrate this with her.

The second, which was just planned about 2 1/2 weeks ago, is my baby (18) is going to his Senior Prom. The sad part for me, besides the obvious, is that I am going to miss it. I will be in Missouri with my niece. I know there will be pictures but it is still sad that I will be missing out on such a huge event in Zach's life. He's pretty stinking amazing. He is definitely one of a kind. There are moments everyday that he drives me crazy but he is unique, gifted, strong in his faith, strong in who God has created him to be and would do anything for anyone. Simply said, I love him.

Friday

I discovered at 4:50 a.m. this morning that I had a flat tire. Then I decided I would use Hilary's car discovered it is making a horrendous noise in the brakes. At that point I gave in. It was obvious I wasn't supposed to go to the gym today which completely stinks because Sherri and Judy were going to meet me there. When Sherri text asking about it I was SOOOOO excited, no one voluntarily just goes with me. I am still excited that come Monday, Sherri is still going to go!

After taking everyone to work and getting the tire fixed, when I say fixed I mean replaced (2 tires to be exact) I discover on the way home that there is a vibration in the steering wheel that was not there before. Now I have to go back out to Discount Tire with the 2 little ones yet again. Then I have to pick everyone back up from work and once the kids are picked up go to two more jobs today...so super glad it's friday...right...

Back to where I left Off

I have lost those last 3 pounds that I gained over those bad couple of weeks! Yeah! Now it's time to move forward, 15 more pounds to lose before I reach my next goal. Ahh...a sigh of relief...

Enjoying The Journey...?

This past week I have to say was extremely hard. I wasn't "enjoying the journey" that God has me on with my weight loss. To be completely honest I was quite miserable. Typically I make it to the gym 4 times a week and do pretty well with staying on track with my food. The previous two weeks I had not been completely on track with my food and had only been to the gym 2 to 3 times during the week. This may not seem like a huge deal but it apparently for me, it was.

I guess I made progress with the battle that goes on in the mind. I was so discourage with myself that I hadn't been as good as I should have that I kept beating myself up about it. It was completely interfering with everything and I do mean everything. My thoughts just weren't clear. After one horrible workout, one that was a bit redemptive and three days of eating on track the break through came.

Here it is, I didn't like the way my "bad" behavior made me feel and I needed to change it back. I needed to be back on track, I need to keep pushing forward in my "journey". So far it seems like, what, this is a break through? Yes, yes it is. Here's why, previously if I had been bad for two weeks and proceeded to beat myself up about it, I would have continued to spiral downward. I would have quit exercising and kept eating wrong foods. Not this time. I truely didn't like the way it made me feel. I absolutely love the way I have been feeling with eating better and exercising regularly.

I know this is not the end of the battle but I am so glad to have won this one. I pray I won't forget what I learned.

Just A Bad Day

It started at the gym, I didn't do well at all. I just haven't been able to shake the bugs that the kids are continually bringing in. As soon as I begin to get over one they bring in yet another. My lungs are my weak spot and they are still not to full capacity so it makes so much of what we do so much harder. I kept getting light headed and had to keep stopping, UGH! I just came home and cried. To be honest I haven't eaten the best the past couple of weeks and that just added to it. I was discouraged and disappointed in myself. Normally when I go and have a not so good day I can usually say, at least I went...not today.

Today was the worst but I have to be hopeful that tomorrow will be better, it couldn't be any worse. I have been back on track with my food the last two days and I will go to the gym tomorrow and try again.

Aside of that, my day has consisted of wiping continually runny noses and listening to Caleb throw one of his fits. When he does this there is no consoling him. He doesn't want to be held, he just wants to scream. I just don't think I am cut out to do this everyday...I really don't. It's nothing against the little ones, they are great they really are. I was afraid of this before I decided to do this but thought that I could get past it but I don't think so...

Kids are Germ Factories

I am sick again!!! I am soooo sick of being sick. I am convinced that little ones are germ factories. They breed, harbor and share the germs with everyone! I have not been to the gym since last Saturday and with the way I still feel, I can only hope that Monday will look better. Good news is that I haven't wanted to eat so I have lost 5 more pounds. That makes the grand total so far...61 pounds lost. Eventually I should build a tolerance against these little germ carriers, right? Good thing they are cute!

Progresssion

My schedule is all out of sorts this week. Monday I just couldn't get up and go to the gym, 4:30 was really 3:30 and ugh...it was just too early. Instead I went walking/running in the evening. I did do better with the running this time. Jenni gave me some tips and they were very helpful. If anyone had been around they probably would have thought I was crazy. I would pick points to run to and at times I just kept telling myself, out loud, that I can go further, over and over. I am sure I looked crazy but it worked. Tuesday I made it to the gym. Today I was going to go and again just couldn't get up. I guess tonight I go walking/running again. Tomorrow, the gym (which means enduring another of Lori's classes). Hopefully back on schedule Friday.